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 How Many Red Flags Can You Find On This First Date?

AUGUST 28, 2022

This is a true story that jut happened to me only a few weeks ago. Some red flags are more obvious than others, some you might not think are red flags, but you might learn a few things to look for or what you can change in yourself to get a first date. So, tell me in the comments below if you agree with how many red flags I found and I'll send you a discount code to my store. 

Here we go, how many red flags can you find on this first date?

We had only messaged each other two times when Mike asked me to go to a concert the following weekend. I'm usually much more cautious about going out that fast, but I was desperate to get out and since I love music I decided to take a change at this opportunity and said yes. 

When the concert day arrived I made sure to get to our pubic meeting place 10 minutes early, just in case. Mike arrived 30 minutes late. He pulled up right behind me and got out of his vehicle, I could see him in my rear view mirror and the man that stepped out was nearly twice as heavy as the pictures online. Since heavy people don't bother me, I got out and shook his hand. Sized up the situation and felt I was okay to continue on the date.

Honestly, the love of music and the opportunity to go to a concert was out weighing the red flags to this point, so I hopped into his vehicle and off we went to the concert. After we arrived and walked up to the front doors, I discovered that they were still locked and that they don't open for another 2 hours! He knew this and didn't tell me that we were arriving 2 hours early, so he can get in line. The tickets are assigned seating, so standing in line for hours doesn't change where we sit and is just a waste of time to me. To top it off, he ignored me the whole 2 hours and talked to others in the line, sometimes walking off, leaving me standing there alone. 

Once we finally got inside he turned to me asking if I was hungry, I replied that I was and we went to get food. I asked if he wanted his own meal or if he wanted to share something, he said that we can share chicken strips and fries. I agreed. After getting the food we wiggled our way through the crowd and found our seats on the 8th row. He sits down, turns his massive back to me, blocking the food completely and proceeded to eat everything, he didn't even offer me a fry. 

Finally, the concert started and I started having fun, but there was an extremely drunk man sitting next to us that was being rude and obnoxious. For the most part, we just ignored him and enjoyed the concert. Then he got very loud and started heckling the singers, screaming obscenities' and telling them to get off the stage and never come back. I waited for Mike to say something, but he just looked the other way, so I stepped up. I reached over and popped him on the shoulder, just enough to get his attention and told him to be nice. At first he was annoyed, but I then explained that we're here to have a fun and have a positive experience and would like him to stop being negative because the bands worked very hard to get on that stage and that he couldn't do any better. He immediately calmed down and apologized. The rest of the concert was a blast. 

After the concert we headed back, he started quizzing me on the bands and names of classic music. I told him that I'm not good at band names, that I just love the music. He kept quizzing me. I mentioned again, that I won't know these answers and he started picking on me. He started asking me questions again and I again told him that I really don't know band names. Then he started harassing me and never let up all the way to the park-n-ride.

It felt like forever, but when we finally arrived back at my vehicle, I jumped out and headed to my drivers side door.  Unlocked it and tossed my purse on the front seat. Suddenly he was right next to me, wiggling his way between  me and my vehicle door, to block me from getting into the vehicle. He large size basically squeezed me into the bushes next to me, I stumbled into them and nearly fell over. When I turned around he had his hands on the door and side of the vehicle, completely blocking me from getting in. That scared me and I wanted to freak out, but knew that wouldn't help in any way, so I took a few deep breaths and stayed calm. 

He started small talk, but it was 1:30 am and I hadn't eaten anything since I ate a Toaster Pastry that morning for breakfast. I was tired, hungry and annoyed. Seeing way to many red flags to feel comfortable talking to this strange man that late at night in a nearly deserted parking lot. I took another deep breath and humored his small talking for a moment, then said I needed to go. He asked if I wanted to go on another date. I hate hurting peoples feelings, but I felt this time I needed to make sure this guy had a definitive answer and gave him a gentle, but solid no. Gratefully he then moved to the side and let me get in and get away from him.

So there you have it. How many red flags did you find?  I'll now show you my answers below.  Do you agree?

Flag 1: There are a lot of sick people out there that prey on desperate single females. Taking sometime to get to know an online prospect and then speaking to them over the phone is important to do before a first date. One of the rules I have in place is to make the fellow send me a quick video of his face and him saying my name, so I know that who I'm actually speaking to is really the person on the profile and not someone that is just trying to scam or catfish me. In my experience, there has been way more scammers and catfishing accounts than real people on dating sites. 

Flag 2: If a man can't respect you enough to be on time to a first date, he won't respect you in a relationship. You deserve a man that can be reliable.

Flag 3: When someone's profile photos don't represent their current self, they are basically lying. Misrepresenting who you really are speaks volumes about what you think about yourself and how little respect you have for the person you're wanting to date. 

Flag 4: Standing in line for 2 hours, for no apparent reason and ignoring the person your dating the whole time is selfish and rude. A little heads up would have been nice or a discussion on the time line would have been courteous. 

Flag 5: What kind of man agrees to share food with you, then selfishly eats every single bite?  I don't know ... I was so perplexed by this behavior that I just sat there staring at his back with my jaw nearly hitting the floor? Does anyone have any answers to this behavior?  Maybe his was really that hungry? I would have been fine buying my own food, he just needed to tell me. 

Flag 6: A man should be able to protect his date, not make her step in and do it. That man was getting belligerent, was inappropriately touching me and could have become a threat if someone didn't calm him down. It shouldn't be up to the woman to take care of a potentially dangerous situation. 

Flag 7: If someone doesn't want to talk about a subject and gets harassed about it, instead of just changing the subject ... well you know! Don't pick on your date people.

Flag 8: Never block a woman from getting into her car, this will throw her into fight of flight mode and you might not like how things turn out. Most women I know immediately think they are going to get raped or killed when a man blocks her from escaping. This will never get you a second date. 

Tell me how many flags you agree with and why? I would love to know your opinion. I asked several of my friends about this situation to make sure I wasn't being to sensitive and they all agreed that I should never date this guy again.

Do you think I should give this guy a second chance?

https://dragoyle.com/blogs/dragoyle_diary/how-many-red-flags-can-you-find-on-this-first-date

 

6 Ways To Start A Fire Without Matches or a Lighter

AUGUST 5, 2022

In this blog we'll give you 6 ways to start a fire without matches or a lighter. 

Hopefully, you'll never be in a position where you don't have any matches or a lighter to start a fire. Whether that is when you're out camping or in emergency situations. You should always have a few backup ways to keep warm during a survival situation, so lets get prepared. A perfect way to keep prepared is to have waterproof matches in your emergency kit, but what if you don't have that kit with you. Let's explore 6 other ways you can start a fire. 

1. To Start A Fire Without Matches or a Lighter With A Tinder Kit - Starting a fire from scratch is difficult enough even with matches. Without matches, it's even harder. To give yourself a head-start on starting a fire, bring a tinder kit with you. A tinder kit should consist of material that is dry and easy to use in the creation of a fire. You can tease apart rope fiber into soft, thin threads; cotton balls soaked in Vaseline work especially well; and you can always buy tinder kits. If you're caught without any tinder material on you, or if what you have has gotten wet, look for cedar trees or birch trees. The bark of these trees can be shredded to create some quick tinder. Cattails also work as natural tinder material.

2. To Start A Fire Without Matches or a Lighter With Flint and Steal - One of the easiest ways to start a fire is using flint and steel. Flint and steel kits can be purchased relatively inexpensively online or in stores. Using a tinder kit with flint and steal will create a fire pretty easily especially if you have magnesium as well, but if you don't have a tinder kit and you can use charcloth, scrap dry bark off of cedar or birch trees, look for old dry moss or other small very dry materials. Magnesium starts on fire fast and super easy, I highly suggest having some in your emergency kit. 

Making a fire with flint and steel has three essential steps:

1. Create a spark by striking the flit with your steal in a downward motion
2. Catch that spark in your tinder kit or dry material bundle.
3. Turn the spark into a flame by gently blowing into the spark in a slow steady way, over and over until it burst into flame.

To complete the first two steps, take a small amount of charcloth or tinder and lay it flat against the flint. If you have some Magnesium, scrape some shavings in a small pile on top of your tinder bundle. Next, strike the flint with your metal. You should see sparks immediately, but only if you strike the flint at the right angle. One of these sparks should eventually land on the charcloth or tinder, giving it a tiny orange glow. That tiny glow is enough to start a fire with; you should transfer the charcloth to the tinder nest when the glow appears, gently wrapping the charcloth into the tinder nest and then blowing on it gently and steadily. The tinder nest should smoke and produce a flame almost right away. You can feed the flame with small kindling, such as dried grass, dry pine needles, or twigs, and then use the more stable flame to light sticks, building up to get your logs on fire.

3. To Start A Fire Without Matches or a Lighter With A Glass Lens - Some children discovered this method on accident as children when they melted toys with a magnifying glass or caught a bug on fire.
With a magnifying glass and an unobstructed view of the sun, you can easily use the magnifying glass method to start a fire. A magnifying glass that rotates in and out of a vinyl case, as opposed to a magnifying glass with a handle, is ideal for traveling with because it is small and more effective.

This method is simple, but might take a few minutes, so be patient. Put your tinder bundle on the ground or with your kindling, then aim the beam of the sun at the tinder nest so the beam of sun coming through is a tight stream of sun, the more condensed the sun stream the better. Keep it steady in the same spot on the tinder bundle until it begins to smoke. When it starts smoking, gently blow on the tinder bundle until you produce a flame.

Using a magnifying glass to start a fire is easy, but it depends upon having a decent amount of sunlight. Since you can't always depend on the sun being out, it's good to have more methods on-hand than just the magnifying glass such as a Tinder Bundle Kit with Windproof/Waterproof Matches.

4. To Start A Fire Without Matches or a Lighter with An Alternative To A Glass Lens. Besides using a glass lens to capture the rays of the sun and produce a fire, you can also use a Solar Lighter, water-filled balloon or a mirror to achieve the same effect. When using water inside a balloon, try to make the shape into a sphere. The more spherical the container is, the more effective it will be at focusing the rays of the sun.

If you don't have a mirror on hand, you can polish the bottom of a soda/beer can with toothpaste or chocolate and turn it into a mirror. By the way, if you use this last method, don't eat the chocolate after you've polished your aluminum can with it; the chocolate may contain toxic residue.

5. To Start A Fire Without Matches or a Lighter by Using Friction. One of the most famous ways to start a fire without a match is also one of the most difficult: using the friction between two pieces of wood. To use this method, make a v-shaped notch in a board or log, and choose a spindle that will create the friction. Rub the spindle between your hands as fast as you can, moving your hands up and down the spindle rapidly. When the board or log begins to smoke, use your tinder nest to catch the glowing spark you've produced.

You can also create a bow drill instead. The bow drill is easier than the primitive method described above, but it requires you to make a proper bow first, which is harder.

6. WHEN IT'S WET OUTSIDE. What if you're in a worst-case scenario situation and your wet and cold? Your matches and lighter have both gotten wet and won't work. You have a tinder kit, along with some flint and steel, but your tinder kit has gotten wet, as well. The downpour has also made the forest around you wet, so there is virtually no dry kindling or dry wood anywhere to be found. Are you stuck at this point? No. If you're resourceful, you can still start a fire.

Start by finding some dry tinder, I know that everything is wet, but here's how. The aforementioned birch or cedar bark works well in this scenario, but you will need to peel a few layers of bark off to get to the dry bark.

As for finding dry wood, look for a standing dead tree. Unlike a dead tree that's lying on the forest floor, a standing dead tree will usually be dry inside. Peel away the rotted, wet, outer section of the tree to get to the dry wood on the inside to get to the dry kindling. Once you have a decent blaze going, you can use even damp limbs and twigs in your fire, because the heat of the fire will be strong enough to catch damp wood at that point.

The 6 ways to start a fire above are the most important ones to understand when thinking about building a fire outdoors without a match. Whenever you go camping or hiking, it's a good idea to have at least three different tools to start a fire with, along with your tinder kit.

Did we miss any other useful ways to start a fire without a match? If so, mention your favorite ways to start a fire in the comments section below and receive a discount code to purchase your fire making kits.

 

IT'S TIME TO THRIVE

JULY 29, 2022

Don't just try to survive, THRIVE!

In a world of uncertainly, we seem to concentrate on just surviving life, but to thrive in your life, career, home you are impacting lives and securing your future. What if all of your struggles were designed for you, that you need to go through what you have to be successful in life. What if life happened For you not To you?

Now is not the time to play small in life, most people will do that, but it is the right time to gain capabilities, take action and thrive instead of just trying to survive. Are you wiling to make a necessary pivot in life to grow and discover exponentially during this economy shift?

Many people these days are feeling overwhelmed with too many things hitting them at once, they are feeling lost and don't have direction, they feel like they are drownding, but not getting anywhere, they aren't where they want to be in life and are tired of not living life to its fullest potential. Wanting more in life and knowing you can achieve more is the best way to generate passion for those wants and building that pathway to create what you desire. 

When you are thriving in life you are filled with clarity and direction, you feel confident in yourself and start creating goals and plans to live life to the fullest, you enjoy your relationships, feel peace and have a great quality of life. Focus on creating a better you, better life, better relationships. 

Ask yourself a few questions:

• Have I gone through a mess that taught me something valuable?
• Have I learned skills or gotten really good at something?
• Do I have a hobby or passion that I've invested a lot of time and money into?

Imagine taking any of those situations and turning it into generating multiple streams of income. Extracting what you already have and sharing it with the exact people that need it is the perfect way to start thriving in life. Finding a niche and creating and income from it is up to you and your experiences. 

Some of the most popular niches these days are:

• Vegetable Gardening
• Marketing Coach
• Yoga and Stretching
• Life Coaching
• Simple App Creation
• Drawing
• Trauma Coach
• Home Bakery
• Course Creation

There are 100+ more to choose from and you can do this too, you need to do this for your future, so you can thrive not just survive. Remember, it will take 10X more time, effort and tenacity that you think it will, but don't give up. The moment you give up is the moment you failed. You can massively impact your life and generate abundance at the same time.

Inflation is hurting most and investing in yourself and creating self care can be difficult, but finding a way to do so is a must. Let's explore a few ways to thrive in life. Start with your life experiences, your skills, your hobbies and your passions or even the life challenges that you had to overcome and made it to the other side. 

1) Start your own business. There are so many options, but opening a business gives you a great way to help with taxes, create your own income, build a future for not only yourself, but your family, kids, grandkids. If you want to start your own online e-commerce store, comment below and I can help. 

2) Invest into a low cost, high margin game changer. These are hard to find, do your research, if it was easy everyone would do it. This can be in the form of stocks and bond, cryptocurrency or buying into or starting a new trendy business in a tightly defined niche. 

3) Self care is a must! Self care is simply the practice of looking after your own physical and mental health in ways that support a good quality of life and prevent illness or endangerment. Everyone’s self care needs are different and should be based on determining what you need specific to your life style, such as hereditary health and your environment, occupation, habits, interests, stress levels, and more.

Examples of selfcare to consider:

• Exercising regularly.
• Eating healthy foods.
• Fostering and maintaining healthy relationships.
• Getting good-quality sleep.
• Seeking professional help when you need it.
• Following treatment plans for current ailments or diseases.
• Have a cup of tea.
• Sit in the sunlight.
• Take a shower or bath
• Drink more water
• Get a massage/facial/pedicure/manicure

4) Be prepared for disasters, emergencies and economic downturns. Disasters can occur naturally (e.g., tornadoes, hurricanes, earthquakes, floods, wildfires, mudslides, or drought) or be human-caused (e.g., mass shootings, chemical spills, or terrorist attacks). Preparing for, responding to, and recovering from disasters and traumatic events is essential to the good behavioral health of individuals and communities alike. Find more info here. 

Are you ready to go from just surviving to Thriving? The time is now, just do it! 

 

Making Frugal Fabulous

Being frugal can be fun and fabulous, but getting there is easier if you have a frugal mindset. Having a frugal mindset is about making smart, sensible choices with your money. It's about understanding and being intentional with how you spend that money and the budget you set. With the economy as it is today, being frugal helps you to plan ahead and take control of your life, your finances and the positive energy that you put into making frugal fabulous. 

It's easy to spot people that are not frugal, they have lots of debt and usually hold down 2 jobs just to keep up with all the stuff that they bought. These days with all the prices going up on housing, gas and food, being frugal has become a necessity of the majority, not just of the few like before the COVID epidemic. It's more important now to become adept at stretching your pennies and saving money whenever you can. 

I was talking to a fairly wealthy friend the other day about the economy and how pretty much everything has increased in price, yet the average pay has stayed the same. He gave me an interesting idea on how to save money, that he uses himself. "I never pay full price for anything." he said, "I look for the sales on items that I actually use, then buy out the store." His purpose was to show the store that he refuses to pay the higher rates, that if the stores see that only 'For Sale' items are flying off the shelves, maybe they will start lowering rates again. Interesting concept, I suppose if more people get on that bandwagon, maybe that would make an impact. We can all contribute in different ways to helping the economy, but personally I'm more worried about providing for my family. 

A few ways to Thrive in life and be a fantastic fun frugal person:

• Budget your money: Although budgeting isn’t necessarily fun, it is a critical piece of the puzzle. Within your budget, you can prioritize things that matter and ruthlessly cut out things that don’t. 
• Plan your meals: I know this isn't fun, but when you have a set list of items that you need from the store, it's easier to not over buy and you save a lot on eating out.
• Cook Larger Amounts: I don't like cooking, so if I don't have to do it everyday that makes it easier when I do have to cook. I make large amounts, then create individual meals, put some in the refrigerator and some in the freezer for later. 
• Downsize and Minimize: Take a look around, I bet you have many items in your home that you don't use. Sell them, get some value out of them. Clean out your garage, go through your clothes, do you really need all of those gadgets? The key is, don't sell then rebuy new things. Sell and put that money towards bills or in savings. 
• Grow your own Food: Not only is it healthier for you than what you can buy at the store, but you are then starting to Thrive by not having to rely on the store. There are many different easy ways you can start, check out our garden selection for awesome planting options.
• Free Fun Adventures: There are a ton of free things you can do that don't cost a cent, such as going to the park, play board games, go swimming, go on a bike ride, take a free online course, write out your life plan/goals, having a picnic, or having a bonfire are just a few free fun things to do.

Living frugally doesn’t have to be a sacrifice, but a way to thrive instead of just surviving. Make an effort to think of frugality as a way to fully enjoy what you care about in life. When you have your money under control, it can be easier to spend on things that matter. 

 

300 Wants Challenge by Dragoyle

JULY 16, 2022

Have you heard about the 300 wants challenge? Time to get your list started, so you can stop just surviving in life and start Thriving. 

Any life coach, guru, business coach or personal coach will tell you that you need to write down what you want in life, your goals, asperations, because writing them down helps make it real. 10% is the average of items on your list that will come true, you must believe you can achieve these things at some point in your life time. Therefore, writing 300 wants down on a piece of paper (not a digital list) will result in you getting at least 30 of your wants to come true!

Let's get started, write at least 300 things down that you want. At about 75, you might get stuck so begin to ask yourself a few questions to help keep you motivated. How many cars do you want? What kind of car? What color? Where do you want your next house to be? Do you want a summer home? What about your finances? Your relationships? Your love life? What do you want to learn, do, achieve?  Where do you want to go?

At first I didn't think I could do this because all my life I've taken care of everyone else's wants, never really knowing what I wanted. I never had a chance before to express or even think about what I wanted. It took a lot of thinking to even begin, but once I got going and really took a look a myself, I discovered a great deal that I wanted. 

When you document your wants on an actual piece of paper, not only does this create a paper trail, but it spells out your thoughts in a way that you can then reflect on them in the future. Some of the most successful individuals always carry a notebook around with them so they can write anything and everything that may come to mind. I’m here to encourage you to push past the mental barrier that you have placed on your mind and think beyond those limitations that we hold ourselves. We can achieve more than we think is possible and I know you can do this. 

Anything that encourages you closer towards your ultimate goals should be a priority and should be approached with a desire to achieve them swiftly and efficiently. Knowing what you really want is something that not everyone even understands about themselves, once you do you can start working towards those future goals and thrive in life. Be sure to review this list often and add to it after the 300 when new wants come up. 

There is so much value in seeing your dreams, goals, and wants spelled out in front of you to review when you need a boost. The task of writing these down is the first step towards giving life to those things that you want; furthermore, this act will hold you accountable to working towards achieving them. Comment below, and let me know how building out your list goes.

300, get ready, get set and go! 

Don't Just Survive, THRIVE!

 

Don't Just Survive,
THRIVE!

MAKE THE DECISION TO GET THE MOST OUT OF LIFE TODAY

What does Thriving really mean?

In the Merriam Dictionary it says;

1: to grow vigorously: FLOURISH

2: to gain in wealth or possessions: PROSPER

3: to progress toward or realize a goal despite or because of circumstances

When you’re facing challenging times, how do you overcome and get back to thriving in your life? While it may feel like nothing good can come of your life circumstances these days, the truth is that difficult times can provide a great possibility to learn and grow. Even the toughest situations can transform everything and take your life to the next level.

Albert Einstein said, “

“Crisis is the greatest blessing for people and nations, because crisis brings on progress… It’s in crisis that inventive discoveries and great strategies rise. He who overcomes a crisis overcomes himself, without being Overcome.”

As human beings, we are meant to be the creators of our lives not just survive, but to thrive. We’re not made to merely survive – we’re made to thrive.

So many people today are unfortunately just surviving life and all of it's trials, instead of thriving and moving forward, onward and upward. They have a "just get by" type of mentality and feel like they are just making it day to day. More than likely, they have forgotten who they truly are and have settled for second best without even knowing it.

Four tips to create a life where you are Thriving, not just surviving.

1: Be sure to take care of your health. It won't matter that you're thriving if you don't have good health to enjoy it. Even adding a short walk each day will make a difference, but if you can get out of the house and go camping or hiking, get some fresh air and do this often, the difference in your health, your mental health, your general well being is wonderful.

2: One of the most important things to maintain is a good selection of emergency supplies. Those that don't have anything set aside or have a bug-out bag packed and ready are the ones that lose everything in an emergency situation. Make sure you have a supply of all essentials, not sure what to pack? Click here to get your Free Emergency Preparedness Template.

3: Self-care is extremely valuable when thriving. There are many ways you can take care, but know doing things for you can make you healthier mentally as well as physically. Depression seems to be everywhere these days, so providing yourself some natural healing is even more important that ever before. Relax, get a massage, meditate, read, have some quality alone time, etc. Do whatever it is that brings you peace, joy and brings balance to your soul and chakra.

4. Money. There I said that dirty word. Thriving requires you to have multiple streams of income, without it you'll be stuck in survival mode most of your life. Create a business, sell things online, rent your spare rooms, write a book. You have a skill, probably multiple skills, find ways to make money with those skills. Be creative, you never know what someone out the is willing to buy.

Thriving is also recognized as a “multifaceted” concept. The studies that the authors have reviewed range from child development to military studies. Across these, “thriving” has been alternatively defined as vitality, learning, task focus, “mental toughness,” or a combination of all of these concepts. Receiving support from one’s family, colleagues, and employers is also important, and being given a high degree of autonomy and being trusted as competent are key elements.